Hamish, M.aD.

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Entertainment has owned me for the better part of my life. Even when I was a toddler drooling on VHS tapes, my dad had to spend an unreasonable amount of time dragging me away from the TV. And if you think dragging a kicking and screaming Hamish away from a good movie is a walk in the park, you have a twisted view of what a park should be like.

Imitation is rumored to be the sincerest form of flattery, and I have often, in my own way, flattered many characters I have admired on screen. I’ve walked around looking cold and distant as a tribute to Robert Patrick, better known as T1000 from Terminator 2. I’ve walked about with my hair combed to a point and swinging my head at every step, in honor of Ace Ventura. And as a hats-off-homage to the muscle-bound Arnie, at some point in time, I’ve even talked like I had hot coals roasting in my mouth.

Me: Owyadoein, vudie?

Friend: I’m doin fine, buddy.

Friend’s friend: Huh? You understood what he just said?

Friend: Ya. He was asking me how I was doing. That’s Hamish, by the way.

Me: Elo. Naiedomeedoo

Friend: He’s saying it’s nice to meet you.

Friend’s friend: Uh… ok. Hi, Hamish. You shouldn’t talk with your mouth full.

Friend: No. He doesn’t have anything in his mouth. He’s just movie crazy. Right now, he’s in his imitate-Arnie phase.

Friend’s friend: Arnie?? As in Arnold? He doesn’t sound anything like Schwarz…

Friend: Now don’t start, ok? Sometimes he gets carried away… He imitates…. well… just… don’t ask, ok?

I’ve also tried my friends’ patience by yelling phrases like ‘Arrr’, ‘Avast ye bilge rat!’, ‘Sail ho, landlubber’, and ‘Get ya sealegs spiked and hoist me skysail, matey’ imitating the inimitable Jack Sparrow. Thankfully, I have very patient and understanding friends, though they weren’t as supportive of me muddying up my face and wearing an eyepatch to work.

My latest craze is a maverick doctor who solves medical mysteries using little beyond biting sarcasm. The show is House, M.D. and the character is Doctor Gregory House. The show has been a brilliant hit from the Fox network. I’ve only recently started watching the show, but it has been around for donkey’s years. Note that I’m talking about a very young donkey; one born around mid November, 2004.

The more episodes I watched, the more addicted I became. And then I began noticing how much of the character I can emulate. I don’t think I’ll go and get a medical degree for this, but there’s more to the character than just medicine. So I looked at the character closely.

1.

House – starts with an ‘H’

…hey… My name starts with an ‘H’.

2.

House is lazy

…hey… I am lazy.

3.

House is addicted to his drug, vicodin

…hey… I’m addicted. I have a different drug, sure. But being addicted to movies count.

4.

House can be stubborn

…well… I can be stubborn

5.

House limps

…whoa… I can limp… I can fake a limp. Same thing.

6.

House walks with a cane

…hmm… I can get a cane.

7.

House is inconsiderate to others

…sure… I can be inconsiderate to others

8.

House plays the piano

…hey… I would like to play the piano

9.

House can be sarcastic

…hmm… difficult, but I can squeeze in sarcasm once in a while, I think

10.

House is arrogant

…hey… I can be arrogant

11.

House abhors rules

…whoa… I abhor rules too…

12.

House is lean, smart and handsome in a rugged sort of way

… … I … errr… I hate rules

13.

He is a genius; comes through with brilliant deductions and is regarded high in the community.

… … I… … I REALLY hate rules

Ok, ok. Let’s stop at that. We don’t really want to explore TOO deeply. House and I share some similarities. Let’s leave it at that.

The last time I went home, I got my parents to watch an episode. I also bought a cane.

Not EXACTLY a cane, I must say. I’m not gonna buy a cane just to imitate a TV character! God, that would be lame. No, I bought an umbrella that LOOKS like a cane. Pretty smart, I thought to myself.

However, dad kinda took the umbrella away, saying it’s impractical for me to carry such a long umbrella to work everyday. This screwed up my plan of walking around in office with the ‘cane’ and making my colleagues cry out again over my so-called-obsession with the character. Of course, I couldn’t tell this to dad. I’m pretty sure he wouldn’t have appreciated the plan. He’s probably gonna use it for something unproductive… like sheltering himself from the rain. Tut tut.

Never let it be said that “For want of a cane, a tribute was lost”. I told myself, “Hell, if I don’t have a cane, I’ll fake one.” There is always photoshop. Thanks to the digital age, I can draw in seven canes if I want to. I worked out a little flash file to the tune of House, MD.

Click here to see Hamish, M.aD.

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14 Responses

  1. Neeharika says:

    welll!!! well!!! well!!! what do i say; emulation s gone a step further; i must say; but hats off on the flash file man!! pretty neat; lewin looks a little uncomfortable with the coat though; he he..so when are you getting a bottle of calcium tablets; err i mean vicodin??

  2. Gayatri Gorthi says:

    AWESOME!!!!! Especially the flash file….WOW…hee hee…I liked the part with the “dot” of General Knowledge, by the way! nice nice…u just keep getting better by the second.

  3. Miss X says:

    Hey Hammy… the best blog so far…. the video is so amazing!!

  4. hammy says:

    You signed on as Miss X…
    🙂
    I like that.

    However, not many people would understand the significance of that name. Unless, of course, they have read my old post at Embarrassment, My Close Personal Companion

  5. Shyma says:

    Your one of those lil boys who watched shaktiman and tried to jump off a building wit his tighty-white-y’s over his jeans! Guahahaha. I always wanted to look inside the head of one of those …

  6. hammy says:

    Hi. Shyma…

    That’s… well, that’s… pretty scary… not to mention weird. But I would have expected nothing less from you, Shy…

    😛

  7. Man …It was a bit surprising for me. Never expected an electronics graduate to do this good web development. Keep up the job and I can say its worth the time you have spent on it. Also Thanx for adding a link to my digital blog. Keep in touch.

  8. elma padamadan says:

    great effort hami cheta,

    mindblowing, i liked the way u displayed the different thought processes in the brain….i found it very interesting and facinating…
    i enjoyed every second of it!!
    you are amazing with words!!
    keep going..

  9. Nevil says:

    kickass video!!!!!:D:D

  10. Congratulations on the nomination to Indibloggies most humourous blog of the year – well deserved – I voted for you :0

    http://multivote.sparklit.com/web_poll.spark/21900

  11. hammy says:

    Thank you very much, Corinne…

    😀

  12. Hey!
    Nice post! 🙂

    …n i read ur comment @ Lekshmi on Anjali’s post in B’lore Mirror (Entertainment on the Big10). Oh.. hilarious! 🙂

    Just discovered ur blog, yet to explore.
    Cheers!!

  1. July 7, 2008

    […] walking-stick shaped umbrella and walk around faking a limp, imitating a rather uncool version of Dr. Gregory House, smiling in the knowledge that the umbrella is actually a weather machine. Zeus takes one look at […]

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