Tag, tag me do

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Here I was, snoring around at my job in a non-threatening manner, obviously a threat to no one but my weak overburdened chair, without a malicious bone in my body, when all of a sudden, without warning, jumps in Bill Libey, stage right, and tags me up in this post of his. As many of you may know, Bill is mostly busy taking the blogosphere by storm with his funny GIF animations. Few may know that it is only stage one of his plan for complete global conquest. But shhh… You didn’t hear it from me.

Anyway, Bill has tagged me. For those who don’t understand the concept of tagging, just think of the classic informal playground game called ‘tag’, where a player who is ‘it’ chases the other players until he/she ‘tags’ one of the other player, who then becomes ‘it’. Nobody really specifies what ‘it’ is, and we know nothing except that it seems to be violently contagious. Here in the blogosphere, however, we have tighter specifications. Now that Bill has tagged me, I am now ‘it’, and I have to write a column with the rules that Bill followed in his article, and at the end, I have to ‘tag’ other people.

So let me check out Bill’s post. Hmm? Ha… Aha? Ok. I have to share seven tidbits about myself. Piece of cake. Wait. There’s bound to be a catch. Let me read that again… Bill… uh-uh… regale… seven fascinating… Waitaminute… fascinating? Ouch. That’s gonna be a toughie. Apparently, the seven tidbits have to be fascinating. That makes it all the more difficult.

Let me see… Seven fascinating tidbits. Seven… Se7en… Let’s start with one.

  1. The Band Member – Oh, yeah. I’ve been in a very unique band. The band that never was. After a carefully designed strategy comprised of begging, pleading, and grovelling, I suckered my old roomie, Nash, and vocal powerhouse Soopzie into being in a band with me. We called ourselves ‘Zway’. Nash and I had some good songs under our belt, but we never really took off. In fact, we had the whole idea upside down. Our first action as a band was to design T shirts, and even that was nipped at the bud. We recorded some rough sessions on the laptop and were geared to practice hard, when Nash and Soopzie got sidetracked by unimportant issues like marriage, career, and life in general. I tried to stage a ‘comeback’, but they reacted to that in a rather exaggarated manner; Soopzie grabbed her hubby and kid and fled to New Zealand. Nash has threatened to flee to the U.S. The Zway future looks bleak.
  2. The Artist – Only a previleged few know that Hamish Joy is an artist… a painter of sorts. You can identify the previleged few by the dazed and worn out look in their eyes. I used to doodle in class all the time, and I can blame my poor academics largely on this hobby. Once I drew a caricature of one of my professors in handcuffs, with the mock headline that he’d been arrested after twelve students succumbed to boredom in his class. Since then, I have bought a digital tablet, and continued the doodling saga on digital canvas. While none of my works would have art connoisseurs banging on my door with bucketloads of money, some of my work has been pretty good. You can check the better of the lot here.
  3. The Musician – While within my band, due to popular request, I tried to restrict my roles to ‘singer’ and ‘songwriter’, I’ve always been fascinated by music and musical instruments. And since they are part of the arsenal of talents my dad packs, I figured it would be a piece of cake for me. I should have factored in the equation that baking cakes can be REALLY difficult for the inexperienced. I had tried a hand at the synthesizer for a while, and had seen mild success by manipulating what I play through the computer. I have also been fascinated by the guitar. From time to time, I feed this fascination with sporadic bouts of revitalized energy, often with disasterous results.
  4. The Movie Fanatic – I used to watch at least one movie every day. These days, Series like House, Monk, How I Met Your Mother, etc takes up some of my movie time, but I still maintain a movie watching rate which might be considered ‘eccentric’ by some people, and ‘crazy’ by people like my dad. I also have a huge reservoir of movies stocked up at home. If the global warming scenario brings flood my way, my DVD collection can be used to build a rather large dam. I had started writing movie reviews online, but being good at math, I figured that the time spent on writing two reviews can be used to watch a rerun of ‘3rd Rock From The Sun’
  5. The Tango Dancer – Ha. Bet that shook you up a bit. Nope. No dancing for me. In fact, I’m not a dancer by any stretch of the imagination…. even the drunk ones. The last time I danced was during our colelge Fresher’s party, where some of my friends ended the night rolling on the floor laughing watching my apparently pathetic attempt. I can’t really blame them either. I danced like somebody had put a can of worms down my shirt. Hmm… Come to think of it, that WAS the excuse I gave at the time.
  6. The Biker – I ride the bike like a maniac. And not in the good, professional way either. I have ‘almost’ been in some pretty sordid accidents. I have been a menace to society ever since I started pedaling my bicycle. There was an interesting incident around a decade ago when my bicycle had a head on collision with a bike. The bike had a family of four on it; the rider was wearing a thick rounded helmet, the kind that covers all your face except your eyes and nose. True story – I escaped with minor bruises, the biker broke his nose. I continue the klutzy ride, only this time, with my brother’s bike instead of my old bicycle. Let’s see where that leads. You don’t even want to know what I did to my dad’s car. I’ll just put it this way – whatever you’re imagining I did, keep thinking; you have a long way to go.
  7. The Cook – I’m a reasonably good cook, in the sense that after hosting at least half a dozen parties where I’ve made all the dishes, all the guests have survived to date. I make a mean caramel custard. My biggest shortcoming in this front is that after every cooking session, I leave the kitchen looking like a battleground, except not as pretty. Whenever I cook at home when mom’s out to work, she comes home and bursts into tears. I try to console myself that those are tears of joy, but even I’m not that gullible.

So there you have it. Seven. Phew. That was hard. So if you thought that some of them were not fascinating enough, well, tough luck. It’s all I could muster. If I had to put in more fascinated tidbits, I’d have to talk about the time I inherited Superman’s powers and saved the world from a nuclear winter by melting an iceberg over a nuclear plant, or the time I flew a fighter jet and used machine gun fire to leave the message – “Go to hamishjoy.com; he has cookies” on enemy aircrafts; or the time I won the oscar for the screenplay to “Fried greener tomatoes from mars”; or about my grammy for my hit single “Give me a grammy or else…” But then I’d have to skid away from the truth a bit. And you know how I like to stay truthful.

So now for my second responsibility as ‘it’. I have to tag seven people. Seriously, it’s hard to choose who to tag. But here I go.

  1. Macadamia the nut – The last time I tagged her, she went into hibernation. Probably took a year-long supply of potato chips and snuck into the cellar until the heat from my tag wore off. But she’s back. You know year long supplies of potato chips don’t really last that long. So here you go, Nutty. Tag. You’re it.
  2. Silverine – Now SHE is a difficult one to tag. She’s usually way ahead of me in the tag loop. The “Been there, done that” gal. So Silverine, if you haven’t been tagged with this one yet…. Tag. You’re it too.
  3. Amooma – Tags have not been favourable with this blogger. After the last tag she’s tended to in the wee morning hours of August, she went MIA. Hopefully, this tag will bring her out of hiding. We can only hope.
  4. Little Black Book – Hello, dangerous man. Tag. You’re it. Play fair.
  5. That’s Funny Because – All new look for Eve. As if she didn’t have her hands full already… But I’m going to impose… Tag, Evey, you’re it too. Yes, you’re one of the seven ‘it‘s
  6. The Soccer Mom Files – She says she’s not the alpha mom. She’s in the middle of a story right now, and I’d hate to interrupt just for this tag. But maybe, after she completes the rest of her story tomorrow, she can post for this tag. Let’s see.
  7. Crotchety Old Man Yells At Cars – If he can desist yelling at cars for a few minutes… let’s see if he responds to my tag.

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8 Responses

  1. Bill Libbey says:

    Ha ha! I knew I tagged you for a reason – funny writing! Will have to link to this one.

  2. Binny V A says:

    Do you have any MP3s by your old band? No, I don’t want to hear them – I am thinking it will come in handy if I have to torture anyone for information.

  3. silverine says:

    Too busy and sick of my comp to do the tag now! 🙁

    I am so brain dead that I cant even say “lol” to Binny ..sigh!

  4. I’ve done this before 😀
    Better luck next time.. muhahahahahahaaa muhahahahahahaaa

  5. Dinesh Varma says:

    Hammy boy, i stumbled into this mindblowing site quite late…more so becos i was clued in on silvie….ooh no silverine’s uplifting blog and a few other blogs like another favourite “kraz” for over a year now. i came in via pena kathi i think… u know what,… reading u (bah, i am no mind reader) ur writing is like discovering an oyster pearl from… ( i really have no clue how this is done!)… see ur style has started rubbing off on an unsuspecting fella who, unlike u, peddles words for a livelihood.
    so here we go. u r brilliant…keep it up… signing off here is M. Dinesh Varma, Special Correspondent, the Hindu, Chennai
    my contact is mdineshvarma@gmail.com
    we do share the same fav author wodehouse! that cud be the meeting point for startings… rather the starting point for meetings… that was brandy glass 4! a toast to u as well! regards…

  6. hammy says:

    @macadamia the nut
    I guess it’s yet another relevant time for me to say…

    @dinesh varma
    Hey, Dinesh. Welcome to my world. Word peddlers are always welcome here. The Hindu is well known in the peddler circles, and known to peddle hundreds of thousands of words every day. It’s amazing to think how much we can recycle, particularly when we think that we are doing nothing but simply re-ordering words from the dictionary.

    Your compliment was quite uplifting; much like finding an oyster pearl deep in your nose. You know you are worth more with it than before, but you have to be extra careful that it doesn’t go to your head.

  7. Ratseetuartchuct says:

    lfflsptkakgggselwell, hi admin adn people nice forum indeed. how’s life? hope it’s introduce branch 😉

  8. hammy says:

    Err… Ok. I’m sure the I speak for the forum when I say ‘thank you’… AND ‘Eh?’

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