Hamish Joy is a man of few words, but thankfully (or thanknotsofully, depending on how you view it), he can REALLY stretch those few words to make up one full page. He currently works (?) in the United Arab Emirates as a Qualitative market researcher. Little can be explained about this position, except that it involves long periods of intense thoughts, often wrongly interpreted as ‘sleeping on the job’. This is possibly due to the involuntary auditory reactions accompanying these long periods – specifically, their uncanny resemblance to snores.
Rumors abound that he is a weird character – moody, lethargic and eccentric in turns, but this is merely an exaggeration. If you were to ask his batch-mates from both Engineering and MBA about him, they would be quick to respond, saying ” Uh? Hamish who? Never heard of him“. However, if you are persistent and lucky enough to find some of his actual friends, they would say “Oh, Hamish? Sure I know him. He was a weird character – moody, lethargic and eccentric in turns ”
Born and brought up in the wonderful land of Cochin, The Land of Industrial-Size Pot-Holes, he’s always had a soft corner for the place, and tends to jump into an airplane every now and then headed back there when nobody’s looking… For those of you who don’t know the place, it lies in the heart of India’s Southern state, Kerala, a.k.a. God’s Own Country Leased by Devils in White Khadis.
He is obsessed with the concept of obsession. Whatever he is interested in, he is obsessed in. As a rough consequence, his obsessions now cover a wide range of topics, from movies to music to graphics to art to writing to blah blah blahblahblah. Intermittently armed with delusions of grandeur, he is also well versed with tactics of illusion, such as talking about himself in the third person to present an image that is… well, presentable.
Much to the disbelief of stunned tutors everywhere, he successfully graduated from an Engineering college with a degree in Electronics and Communications safely tucked away in his pocket. Flaunting his tolerance for the inhumane, he went on to top this feat by going through another round of classes, subsequently bagging an MBA degree. These academic achievements and the rigorous experiences during these courses let him blend easily into corporate life ; with the determined confidence that however complex the situation, however constricted the time-line, and however critical a meeting, he can sleep without anybody noticing.
He has great passion for the English language and its flexibility, for e.g., how he could use the word ‘passion’ instead of ‘obsession’ and get away with it… While this doesn’t mean that he is immune from mistakes, it certainly means that he THINKS he is… and that he will make stupid and ludicrous claims to back his English usage, including “Websters approved this new word into the language just last week”, “Of course the word ‘we’ is singular… if used in a joint context”, and “That rule is just a GUIDELINE. It’s neither right nor wrong. Sure, it seems like it should be past tense, but it COULD have happened in the future too.”
But strictly between you and me, he’s nuts. Schizophrenic, in fact. Don’t tell him I said this.
Hey! I heard that!!
Errr, heard what?
I heard what you just said…
I didn’t say anything… Technically, I was just typing.
Oh, really, funny man? I’m gonna pound your face into that keyboard so hard that your teeth will be replaced by the keyboard keys, and they will be spelling something REALLY indecent…
Hmmm… I have this weird feeling this write-up may end abrrrrru