It was time. No threatening work looming over my head, an increasing pile of messy junk cluttering my room, and an artificially extended weekend for me to cool off. It was time to tip my hat off to Bangalore for a while and pop by the ol’ ancestral abode back down south in Cochin.
Of course, I am using the term ‘ancestral’ rather loosely. I guess the proper use of the term implies an age old structure that had sheltered the clan for generations. Such a structure does not exist in my case. My parents live in a modern creation [...] Continue Reading…

In my last article, I had said I’d be adopting the demented brain structure of the Hollywood idiot who decided to make a movie by combining movie franchises, a la Alien v/s Predator. I wasn’t quite serious about it at the time, but the more I look into the empty abyss in my pocket, the more I realize I need to write a novel that can be turned into a star-studded money-spinning mega-blockbuster on whose royalties I can live on for the rest of my life. So if any of you happen to know a Hollywood agent, show him [...] Continue Reading…

Not altogether unlike Dan Brown’s Silas, I decided to torture myself last night. But there were differences in approach, however. For one thing, I didn’t decide on this because I thought I was a sinner. Who am I to decide on the punishment for my sins? If that decision were left up to me, I’d choose death by chocolate overdose. Secondly, the mode of torture… I was never impressed with his choice of weapon, and in any case, cilices are not really easy to find in Bangalore.
No, my own mode of torture was watching Aliens v/s Predator: Requiem, [...] Continue Reading…

That did it. It rained last night. It did. And you want to know what the big deal was? I was CARRYING MY UMBRELLA!! And no, it wasn’t one of those blissful times when I was resting comfortably inside while the rain pounded mercilessly on the outer crust of sturdy buildings. No. it rained while I was OUTSIDE… WITH my umbrella.
Some of you… Nay, MOST of you would be scratching the upper melon about now, as bewildered as George W Bush in a science convention. But this is because you haven’t read - or have chosen to forget - [...] Continue Reading…

Scott Adams didn’t paint a rosy picture when he depicted accounting personnel as trolls. Now I love Adams’ work. In fact, I could frequently be found rolling on the floor after reading his material. Yet, I used to say I had never found any justification for this scandalous portrayal. But that was because I didn’t know that kind of accounts people at the time. I was used to the helpful and rational accounting staff within my small company. However, after some exposure to the wider splatter within similar departments… I still feel the portrayal is scandalous.
The trolls should sue.
Whoever [...] Continue Reading…

For a long time, I was living under the delusion that I was , if not a neatness freak, at least intolerant of living in dumpsters. But looking at the mess I leave behind in every room I could lay my hands on, I have to face the ugly truth… Even when I wrote Movers and Rakers and Junkyard Woes, I had built an impenetrable fortress of self serving excuses. Excuses that any decent lawyer could drill through as easily as a chain iron through butter.
Lawyer: “Is it true, Mr. Hamish, that you submitted a lack of time as [...] Continue Reading…

Recently, a lurking, irksome, nearly forgotten evil made its presence known, albeit in a slightly different form. It was an evil that I, and so many of my discerning friends, had blissfully considered long forgotten… an ugly memory of the past, buried under the thick fabric of time. We were wrong. But enough about Himesh Reshammiya’s upcoming movie.
Let us, instead, focus on a recent mini-buzz stirred in the blogosphere. Note that when I say ‘recent’, I use the term rather loosely. Blogging heavyweight Anjali Philip (a.k.a. Silverine) showcased one of the more popular social evils in our country [...] Continue Reading…

Wedding bells chimed… metaphorically, of course. Crowds cheered, drinks emptied, cameras clicked, and speeches given. Another joyous occasion. And no, I am still safe, sound, and blissfully single. The wedding was of my prodigious cousin, Roshan Francis, and my multi-talented friend, Ashika Sharma. Wrongly rumored to be next in line, and the clear target for the loathsome ‘ooh-you’re-next-when’s-THAT-happening?’ speech, I sought refuge behind the camera lens… incognito as the unofficial photographer. The old hiding-in-plain-sight tactic. Not a bad strategy. Almost worked.
For those who came in late, Rosh is my high-flying, globe-trotting, wry-smiling, head-banging, crisp-talking, quiz busting rootin tootin cousin [...] Continue Reading…

I’m moving.

Yes, moving… shifting house… migrating… changing horses … jumping ship… altering my housing supplier. Some of you may be thinking of jumping up and down in joyous exuberance, while others might be crying deep within. While I protest more vehemently towards the first group, BOTH reactions are quite unwarranted in this case. I’m not moving very far. In fact, my new place is hardly ten minutes walk from my old place. I dare say that if I were exceptionally strong with my throwing arm, I may be able to fling a bag of moist manure at my old [...] Continue Reading…

It’s not everyone who can hold a drink. And no, I’m not talking about the fading art of balancing the wine glass. I was talking about the less literal, more common, and definitely more fun ritual most of our town toast to. Some people have iron, rust-proof chambers in their stomach that keeps them sober even if the drinks pour in directly from the assembly line. And then there are people like me who get that tipsy feeling right after the first cocktail.

And I’m blessed enough to know people from either spectrum. I have a friend whose tipping point [...] Continue Reading…